So here's my latest thought: why do we, as women, constantly complain that we can't find an attentive, caring, sensitive yet funny guy, but then when we FINALLY find a guy who meets our criteria, we for some reason push him away by finding 'flaws'?? It's as though we would rather remain bitter than actually allow ourselves to be happy...weird no?
Personally, I have found myself in this situation more than once which is why I ask this question. And somehow I always find a way to convince myself that my loser ex-boyfriend was better for me than the guy I am currently with...why?! I'm not kidding. This is a seriously annoying issue for me. I am not a fan of the fact that my friends and I will sit and bitch and complain about the fact we've dated nothing but crappy guys, but yet can not manage to see the light, or get off the bitter train long enough to see the awesomeness on the other side!
Yes, I've ridden on the bitter train. Actually, I think I've had a box reserved in my name because you never know when you'll be back on the bitter train. But actually, on that note: do we ever really get off it?
Do we not, as women, compare all our boyriends against one another? Do we not mentally calculate all the pros and cons between them and wish that maybe our current BF has some attribute one of our exes did? Why?! Why can we not be happy with what we have, when we have it?? Is the bitter train that awesome? Is the ride worth not being happy ever again? Or do we simply keep our reservation on the bitter train as a backup? And there's that question again: WHY????
I feel that women, some women of course, need to have something to complain about otherwise they can't appreciate what they have. Or maybe that's just my optimism shining through. Yes, optimism. I like to think of myself as an optimistic person when it comes to relationships. I mean obviously I've had my heart ripped out and thrown under a MAC truck, but in reality who hasn't? Have you ever met someone that didn't have their own sob story of a nasty, hurtful, tear-jerking breakup?? So, aren't we, men and women alike, all in the same position?? We have all been hurt by someone we loved or cared for, yet we still choose to get out there and try again. So why can't we just let go of all our past heartaches and start fresh?
If you think about it, we start over with jobs, houses and sometimes friendships too so why are these easier to come to terms with? I know I keep asking questions, and not supplying answers but there isn't one simple answer. Everyone has their own reasons for riding the bitter train, and we are all in control of how much we ride it. Some of us never get off it. Someone us even try to recruit our friends to join us. But regardless, we have ALL been there. I am simply saying that women tend to stay on the bitter train a little longer than men. We are just built differently, and unfortunately, sometimes our emotions get the worst of us. We just need to adapt and learn from every ride on the bitter train.
It is very hard to get off the bitter train, let go of your permanent reservation and allow yourself to be happy. But once you do, the benefits of happiness far outweigh ANY and ALL rides on the bitter train. Believe me, I know.
I've been there. I am there.
Happiness is the single most satsifying emotion, so why avoid it? Just sit back and enjoy one of the best rides of your life.
-xoxo
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