Dear Friends: Thank You!!

I would like to start off this blog by saying I have been quite the crank pot the last couple weeks. Full of complaints, random bouts of bitchiness, and a non desire to go out and have fun. How I still have friends I'm really not sure. If I were them, I would've already bitch slapped me...

So let's start by saying thank you to all my friends. Thank you for putting up with my constant complaints about being tired. Thank you for being understanding when I cancel or change our plans due to my crankiness. Thank you for offering me encouragement and motivation when I needed it the most. Thank you for being awesome friends!!

Honestly, my friends are my family. We have arguments, we sometimes don't like each other, but when the going gets tough, they stand by me no matter what. And that's important and definitely necessary in a friendship. Especially for me.

I have decided that I need an attitude adjustment. This decision has come after a long couple of weeks where I seem to always be tired, cranky, and full of complaints. I need to fix this. Especially when there are other people around me going through the same thing (if not more) that manage to be personable and friendly all the time. For example, my friend Sarah worked a night shift at the hospital from 11pm to 7am and then met us at 8am for a day of skiing. She was nothing but fun, energetic and friendly all day. And I was a piss pot. Not good at all. I aspire to be more like Sarah. Yes, I had worked for 15.5 hrs the day before but I still slept for 6 hrs before skiing and had no reason to take out my tiredness on everyone around me. I feel bad I might've ruined everyone's day. :-(

I find I have always had these moments where my inner bitch manages to get out and take over. I need to learn to control her. You'd think after all these years that'd I'd have learned how to manage that by now, but nope. Every so often she gets the best of me and I just give in - which isn't fair to my friends. And if any of you know me well, I hate when my friends are treated badly, especially when it's by me. I'm not good at forgiving myself...

So, instead of punishing myself and constantly apologizing to my friends for my bad behavior (and mood swings), I've decided it just needs to stop all together. We all have our bad days, and yes our friends are there for us on these bad days, but it shouldn't be all the time. We sometimes need to suck it up, smile through the bullshit and tired and be happy. It's tough but once we make it a habit, it won't seem like effort anymore.

I am thanking my friends for showing me how to smile through the tired, the bullshit and the frustration. I am turning over a new leaf and learning to be more like them. Again, thank you for putting up with me thus far, and I will do my best to be a more pleasant and fun person from now on!!

-xoxo