3 little words.
That's all it is. Just three simple little words that, when said on their own don't have as much significance as they do when said as a phrase.
So why do I, along with countless others, have so much trouble saying them? Especially when I really, really, really want to. I have almost said this scary, terrifying and life changing phrase about 10 times now and for some reason I stop myself everytime. WHY?!? aaaaaargh...
As you can plainly tell, I am frustrated with myself. Let me give you some background.
I have always had this fear deep down that every guy in my life will eventually leave me. This has been around since my parents got divorced. And it was for excellent reasons that they got divorced, so I guess maybe it started after that. He always told me he'd be somewhere for me, or that we would do stuff together, and then he wouldn't show up. And what makes this worse is he would say "I promise" and "I love you". Well, those 2 phrases are now the two most terrifying phrases I could ever hear. And really, it's not fair to my boyfriend, who is nothing short of amazing, to automatically be scared and terrified that he is going to leave me when he has never shown any indication that that would ever happen. And it's taken me a LONG time to get to a point where I feel ready to trust a guy again. I'm talking longer then we have been together.
Every relationship, fight, issue, breakup, etc. has helped me to grow stronger as a person and has taught me to trust myself. I now know that no matter what happens in a relationship, or in my life that I am strong enough to handle it. I trust myself enough to know what I need in my life, and what I don't.
So then why do I hesitate now? I know that the man in my life will never hurt me, never leave me and always be there for me, so why, dear god WHY, do I still have an issue with those three little words?? They should be one of the most amazing things to say to a person, and they are, and I know when I eventually stop being such a wimp, that I will get over my fear and just say them. Because he deserves to know. Every person deserves to know.
I will get over myself and let go of my fear to make that final jump. That final leap of faith that really shows someone, and yourself, that you trust them with your life and your heart. Yes it's scary to think you can love one person (other than family) more than anything, one person who you would give your life for. But really, if they never know how much you need them in your life, because you never tell them, then you have no one to blame but yourself if they walk away.
Knowledge is power. And in relationships, communication is one of the most important aspects. These three little words should be said often but only when they are true. For these three little words can change your life.
And really, who wouldn't want to know that the person they are with, is giving them their heart and complete trust. What could be better than that??
So I close in saying that I am going to bite the bullet, jump off the ledge without a parachute, and get in a boat without a paddle and just say "I Love You".
Because you know what? I do love him and he deserves to know he is the most amazing person in my life and I have been nothing but happy since the day we met.
See: three little words can change everything. Who'd have thought that three little words could mean more than anything in this world? Well, believe it.
And say them. Often.
I Love You.
-xoxo
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