Truth Hurts.

You know that feeling when you just know something is missing? Do you ever frantically search your house, or purse or car, looking for something you might have left behind or forgot to do? Would you ever think that maybe that something missing might never be found?

I know, depressing thought right? Well, truth hurts. We all know this to be true.

I am in the middle of this dilemma. And it's the worst timing ever - not that I've been known to have excellent timing with anything. :-)

Here I am, in the middle of a rigorous, but amazing opportunity to development my skills as a journalist, and I keep getting distracted by myself. This is supremely frustrating. Because, I can't tell myself to go away. I can't turn my brain off. I can't check out for awhile...unfortunately, my only option is to face myself and ask the question: what's missing?

When I received my acceptance letter into this program I figured once September came, I would be happy, and vibrant and back to being me! I love stress, I love deadlines, and I love writing. So where's my issue?? That's when I figured it out: my issue is within.

But, how do I figure out what's missing? Well, I'm not that complicated - although some of my friends might disagree. I know that the emptiness, the feeling of something missing is simply a partner.

I miss the feeling of having someone there for me. Someone who will be my crutch on difficult days. That one person who just knows what you need to get you motivated. Do I know who this person is? No. That would definitely make things easier. I only know the feelings I've had before, the emotions I want to feel again.

Am I optimistic I can find it again? ABSOLUTELY! If I wasn't...well...that would just be disappointing. And lonely. And sad. Strangely enough, those are some emotions I feel these days - when I'm not busy at work or school.

I need to find a way to let them out. Let them be expressed, either verbally, physically or emotionally. Because as we all know: bottled up emotions always come out much stronger than they how they started. Especially mine.

I'll find my way. I'll find my missing link. I know it. I'm strong so I'll survive until I find that link, that missing "something" or someone. That one who just completes. Yes, I know that sounds sappy. But again, truth hurts.

And we should always tell the truth - especially to ourselves.

- xoxo