PhD in "Hurry up and wait..."

Lately I've been grumpy. And by grumpy I mean lazy, bitchy and irritable. I could chalk it up to "that time of the month", but I would be lying. I accredit it to not being completely happy with what I am doing with my life right now.

I feel like it's a whole lot of "hurry up and wait". For any of my drumcorps pals, no explanation is needed to this statement. For everyone else though, let me explain.

"Hurry up and wait" is a saying we used in drumcorps (aka marching band - ya ya ya, bug me later) when we would be warmed up and ready to go, yet we end up standing around for a long period of time, just waiting for our time to perform. This can easily relate to life. Especially my life right now.

I feel like I have done the education, gotten some relavent experience, both for school and just because, and yet here I am, waiting. Waiting for something, ANYTHING, to happen that makes me feel like it was all worth it. Am I expecting too much? Am I being nieve in thinking this?

My answer is no. I think a lot of it has to do with the economy, but of course we can only use that excuse for so long right? Maybe I am silly to think that all my hard work and effort in my education would actually get me a job in a field I enjoy. A job that when I wake up in the morning makes me excited to get to. Haha, ya ok maybe I am crazy!! Do these jobs exist? Is this where my nieve thinking has clouded the true reality of life?

Again, I'm going to say no. I am ever the optimist. I believe it is possible to get that elusive "dream job". That job that when you wake up everyday you can not wait to start! The job that makes you motivated to do better everyday - this job for me is being paid to write. I can't imagine anything greater.

But for right now I feel like I'm on the "hurry up and wait" train, which by the way can be a frustrating ride.
- I applied for a post graduate certificate program at Mount Royal University but haven't heard back yet. "Hurry up and wait"
- I've submitted some articles for publishment but haven't had many responses. "Hurry up and wait"
- I'm passing the time working 2 serving jobs until something else comes along that is more relevant and of course, I am "qualified" for. "Hurry up and wait"

So while I thought I had already mastered the art of "hurry up and wait", turns out I apparently needed some more practice...by the time I'm done I'll have a PhD in this great and frustrating art :-)

It's ok though. It's all a life experience right? Everything we do, feel and think is part of our overall life experience and I guess I should use this lieu time to my advantage...although I would rather just get on it with it already...haha!! I have never been a patient person though :-)

For now, I am in a "hurry up and wait" phase of my life. One day though I know I will crave this downtime and wonder why I ever wanted it to end. But that's one day...I still have time...right?

- xoxo