Leave me alone, I'm happy..?

Ever feel like you need a map to figure out what to do next? I mean, if you think about it there are certain steps we are "expected" to take throughout our life, that most people consider to be key to a "successful" life: complete high school, get a post-secondary education, start a career, get married, buy a house, have kids, etc. Of course, these "steps" don't generally happen in this exact order (or at all for some people), although I definitely know some people who have followed 'road map of life' step-by-step. So what about the rest of us, whose lives aren't quite following this map, so to speak? Are we just considered unsuccessful rejects?

I say no. Definitely no. Because if the answer to that question is yes, than I am one of those unsuccessful rejects. Well, to some people anyway. ;-) I think we are all in control of our own happiness and no one else can define our successes in life. Let me explain.

As a server, who has a Masters degree and international experience in her field, I find it beyond frustrating when I get the inevitable question: "Why are you serving if you are so educated?" Really?! Hmm, how can I answer you politely? I mean I have a multitude of answers I could say: "Well gee, I just like serving people THAT much..." or "Well I'm lazy and haven't bothered to apply for a job in my field" (please note the sarcasm in both responses)!! Of course I don't use either of these options. I am more polite than that. I just simply say what everyone says "I'm looking and applying but so far haven't been too successful".

The other question that frustrates me, even more when it is asked by my 10yr old cousin, is: "Why don't you have a boyfriend?" Now I know some people ask this in a "I'm shocked and curious" way, but sometimes it comes off as almost judgemental. Like at my age I should have a boyfriend, if not be in a relationship. I have had these thoughts myself, and as I stated in a previous post, want this. However, I am a firm believer that timing is everything in life.

Maybe I'm not in the right place in my life to have a relationship and be thinking about marriage and kids and buying a house...It is hard sometimes when the majority of my close friends are in long term relationships, thinking about marriage or already on the road there. And of course I am jealous of them. But I can't imagine dealing with finding a job in my field and managing a relationship at the same time. And apparently I feel that finding a job is more important right now...

But is it? Should I be working just as hard to find someone to spend my life with as I am with finding a job I want to do for the rest of my life? I mean technically I have been working towards a career since I was 5, which seems pretty sad. But what if it takes that long to find a life partner too? OH. MY. GOD! Haha, no I don't seriously believe that finding a career and finding your "soulmate", so to speak, are even remotely related. I believe, again, it has to do with timing.

But back to the topic. Is it fair I should feel pressure to find both of those things? Do they really determine the "success" of my life? Absolutley not. Not in my world. I believe the "success" of someone's life is completely up to that individual. If they are happy and satisfied with how their life has been or is going, than that is all that matters...and who are we to judge them, right? Who am I to say that someone isn't doing well, or has lost their course especially if that person is happy? I have no right. However, in saying that, I guess it is fair for someone to ask me "why are you serving with your educational background?", when they know I'm not happy doing what I'm doing. I guess it just gets a little tiring constantly hearing the confusion from other people that I feel everyday.

One day I'll be "back on track". Or maybe not. Maybe I'll just do different jobs here and there until I find something I love. And maybe I'll never get married, have kids, or buy a house. Maybe I'll rent and travel and never be in the same place for more than 6 months. Who knows, that might make me feel happiest. And you know what? That's my choice. And thank god we have have control over our own happiness...and we should never forget that.

-xoxo