Crossroads.

There is a time in everyone's life where they come to a crossroads. Whether this refers to a job, a marriage, a move or simply a decision at work, we all experience this sort of dilemma.

I feel I have encountered more than my fair share of crossroads, so I guess I should be well adept at facing them.

Wrong.

I am in a similar position as I was 4 years ago - about to graduate and am looking for a job. I have applied to several so far, some in Canada, some not, but I am still in that familiar "hurry up and wait" stage.

While most people are fine with waiting to hear back from jobs, I am not. I am the least patient person EVER!! But regardless of this, I still have another issue.

Am I really ready to pick up and move again? Am I really willing to just take off and live abroad again?

In some ways I am shouting "HELLS YES" at the top of my lungs. However on the other hand, this time around is different.

I have an apartment with a roommate where I have post-dated cheques for the rent. This would need to be sorted out before I move. I am also signed up for a 60km weekend walk for Breast Cancer, which I would be missing. Yes, this isn't that big a deal, but it's still a commitment and I would still like to raise money for the cause.

But I LOVED my year in Mexico City - everything about it was so memorable, so life changing and so enjoyable. I loved the nightlife, the energy of the city and the culture. Especially the culture. I think this is what I crave most, and is the main reason I want to live abroad again.

But in all seriousness, it's easier said than done right?

For example, when I went to Mexico, I created a family for myself among the students I had classes with. In Peru, if I get the internship, I will be working, and since I am not sure how many other interns or staff will be there, I might have to create a family for myself some other way. And as I learned in Spain, this is not an easy thing to do.

I guess, I need to just be patient right? Everything will fall into place...right? Who knows.

I do believe that everything happens for a reason, and that wherever I end up and whatever I end up doing, will be great for me. I just hate not knowing.

And maybe I am searching for what I had in Mexico: true and utter happiness. I crave this so much everyday it's sad really. I mean I have moments of happiness everyday, but can I say I am truly happy all the time? No, definitely not.

I will find this happiness again. I know it. I just need to sit back, live for the here and now, and let it happen.

The last time I did, I met a love of my life, and more importantly, I was happier than I have ever been.

I guess things are really the best for those who wait.

- xoxo